How to drive the Worcestershire way

The most common places in which we experience rage are in queues and in cars. In a queue of cars behind a slow driver is worst of all. But this a common experience driving between the towns and villages of Worcestershire. Some drive slow because they are elderly and know their reactions have slowed - this seems fair to me and I try to be tolerant. But others drive slowly as part of a set of strange driving practices that they believe make them a very safe driver. To help understand why they do this, I include a guide to how to drive the Worcestershire way.

Speed limits. Always drive 10 miles/hour less than the local speed limit. This will avoid you being caught speeding if your speedometer is inaccurate.

Brakes. The brake pedal is the most useful part of the car. Push the brakes on when you are coming to a corner (any corner), when you see a car coming towards you on the other side of the road, when you are about to go up a hill, when you are going down a hill, and when you can see some traffic lights in the distance ahead of you.

Traffic lights. Wait a bit after the lights have changed to green. You never know if they might suddenly change back to red again.

Roundabouts. Never go on a roundabout if you can see another car approaching it. When you go on a large roundabout, always stick to the left-hand lane whether you are going left, straight ahead or right.

Country lanes. These do not have white lines down the middle, which means you can safely drive in the middle of the road. If you are lost, just stop the car and look at a map.

Motorways and other roads with three lanes each way. Very careful drivers avoid motorways altogether. But if you are on one, always drive in the middle lane. This gives you a clear view of the road, particularly important when other drivers try and pass you on the inside!

Filter lanes. Do not filter into traffic because you might then need to change lanes while moving. Instead, wait until the road is clear and drive straight over to the lane you want to be in. While you are waiting to do this, you should ignore the drivers behind you beeping their horns - they have obviously not learnt to appreciate how to drive the Worcestershire way.