If you have never been to the USA, you still know what to expect from films and television. The East Coast comprises New York (full of young people leading entertaining lives in Manhattan apartments) and Baltimore (corrupt police and gruesome crimes). The West Coast consists of Los Angeles (film stars and more crime), and San Francisco (gays and more crime). Things are different in the South: long dusty roads, prison gangs and everybody drenched in sweat (apart from New Orleans, which is inhabited by vampires). In the middle of the USA, most of the small towns have been taken over by zombies. These stumble around looking to bite as many people as possible and hence increase the zombie population. Zombies don’t appear too cunning, but are effective because they are driven by an overwhelming and irrational anger.
After you visit the USA, you realise that the films and television programmes are not very accurate, apart from the zombies that is. In the real USA, zombies do not stumble around in blood-soaked rags: they work as radio and television commentators, most of all on Fox News. Here, they can infect people through the airwaves, massively increasing the zombie population. Despite their more normal appearance, Fox News zombies are easy to spot - driven by the same overwhelming and irrational anger, they emit rage at normal people (who in zombietalk are known as ‘liberals’), and worship death. Death-worship takes many forms: there is an urgent desire to spread death among foreign lands; to execute criminals in large numbers; and, most of all, there is adoration of the bringers of death - of guns and weapons of all kinds. Zombies wish that all should carry guns and become death-bringers.
In the films, zombies can only be destroyed, if at all, by extreme violence. Fortunately, real world zombies can easily be tamed. Just change channels, and they will not infect you. If enough people do this, the zombie death cult will disappear.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments welcome